British Tennis Forum - Celebrating 20 Years!

steven · steven

I came across this today and found it pretty funny. To set the scene, Madonna was in Budapest filming "Evita" and the Hungarian newspaper "Blikk" interviewed her. The questions were posed in Hungarian, then translated into English for her; her replies were then translate...

Madeline · Madeline

Thanks to my stupid ISP, Freedom 2 Surf, I am not likely to be around much for the next week. For those who may never have needed the information, if you want to change broadband suppliers (ADSL) you have to get a MAC code from your ISP and give it to the one you want to transfer to. You should then have 30 days...

Drew · Drew

Thats the new Nokia N95 8GB....I do like my phones but this is ab fab...connects to my home broadband.....can watch movies.....check email...it can even make PHONE CALLS !!!! It even has real player so I can watch online videos and open up pdf files, word docs, excel files, attachments, even talks to...

Madeline · Madeline

Searching for computer help please! I'm thinking of changing my broadband to Be* who are available at my exchange. The problem is, they expect you to use their supplied router which needs an ethernet connection and I don't think I have one. . . My pc is 4 years old, and was bought from Evesham who pretty m...

Montana Doug · Montana Doug

I have to laugh, but that is what my brother-in-law told me at Thanksgiving when we were talking about Marcus' tennis. My nephew is 14 and plays American Football for his Middle School. He hopes to play High School Football one day. Marcus does not have the size or the attitude for American Football....

johnnylad · johnnylad

www.thehungersite.com One click of your mouse everyday just does a little bit to help others. And I guess doing a little bit is better than doing nothing. www.everyclick.com New search engine which gives quite a good % of profits to charity. Getting better as a search engine too! Pick a charity and ra...

Sheddie · Sheddie

We have a slightly new look britishtennis.net homepage...to incompass the new interactive feature...poll of the week ! please post suggestions for future polls

Sheddie · Sheddie

of letting someone know their fly is unzipped: The cucumber has left the salad. Robin has left the hood. I can see the gun of Navarone. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. You've got Windows on your laptop. Your soldier ain't so unknown anymore. Quasimodo needs to go b...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Mark, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him, "tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE." The next morning, Mark got up really e...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Merry Christmas and Happy new year guys ! Hope you all have a good one and drink/eat as much as you want ! Hopefully there'll be plenty more to cheer about in British tennis come 2008

Sheddie · Sheddie

Mayweather, are you listening? In the gym, sweat is glistening I'll eat you alive - and take you in five Walking in a Hatton Wonderland Cheerio to the pasties See ya beers, no more Astis I'll rip off yer 'ead - and put you to bed Walking in a Hatton Wonderland When I get home I'm gonna build a snowman Then pre...

Sheddie · Sheddie

The arcade was pretty popular last year, how about a festive challenge on this game: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/1092/ I got 723 1st run -- Edited by RobC at 13:06, 2007-12-23

Sheddie · Sheddie

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All...

Sheddie · Sheddie

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I ci...

Sheddie · Sheddie

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzip...

Madeline · Madeline

Dedicated to all those who think nobody needs to learn to spell in these days of spellcheckers: I have a spelling checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks for my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this pome rite threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in its weigh -- My checker tol...

imoen · imoen

Hope you have a lovely day with lots of family and presents (possibly not in that order )

Sheddie · Sheddie

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out...

Sheddie · Sheddie

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, I...

Sheddie · Sheddie

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ___________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthen...

Salmon · Salmon

He has disappeared all of a sudden, it seems. -- Edited by Arka at 03:05, 2007-11-07

Drew · Drew

Summer time is at an end....well BST is....clocks go back an hour folks just in case anyone forgot....you get an extra hour into the bargain !!!

Sheddie · Sheddie

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said...

Sheddie · Sheddie

Sheddie · Sheddie

JASON ROBINSON, Andrew Sheridan and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says: "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Robinson first, he asks: "What do you believe?" Robins...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Lost in translation (Preview) I came across this today and found it pretty funny. To set the scene, Madonna was in Budapest filming "Evita" and the Hungarian newspaper "Blikk" interviewed her. The questions were posed in Hungarian, then translated into English for her; her replies were then translate...	steven	0	1133	Feb 18, 2008 by steven
	Goodbye for a while. . . (Preview) Thanks to my stupid ISP, Freedom 2 Surf, I am not likely to be around much for the next week. For those who may never have needed the information, if you want to change broadband suppliers (ADSL) you have to get a MAC code from your ISP and give it to the one you want to transfer to. You should then have 30 days...	Madeline	3	924	Feb 10, 2008 by Madeline
	Best Toy I ever had.... (Preview) Thats the new Nokia N95 8GB....I do like my phones but this is ab fab...connects to my home broadband.....can watch movies.....check email...it can even make PHONE CALLS !!!! It even has real player so I can watch online videos and open up pdf files, word docs, excel files, attachments, even talks to...	Drew	2	819	Feb 5, 2008 by James
	I need a geek! (Preview) Searching for computer help please! I'm thinking of changing my broadband to Be* who are available at my exchange. The problem is, they expect you to use their supplied router which needs an ethernet connection and I don't think I have one. . . My pc is 4 years old, and was bought from Evesham who pretty m...	Madeline	4	1096	Feb 4, 2008 by Madeline
	"Tennis is for wimps...." (Preview) I have to laugh, but that is what my brother-in-law told me at Thanksgiving when we were talking about Marcus' tennis. My nephew is 14 and plays American Football for his Middle School. He hopes to play High School Football one day. Marcus does not have the size or the attitude for American Football....	Montana Doug	6	1342	Jan 28, 2008 by Montana Doug
	If you have the time - A great website to visit every day (Preview) www.thehungersite.com One click of your mouse everyday just does a little bit to help others. And I guess doing a little bit is better than doing nothing. www.everyclick.com New search engine which gives quite a good % of profits to charity. Getting better as a search engine too! Pick a charity and ra...	johnnylad	0	769	Jan 27, 2008 by johnnylad
	homepage polls (Preview) We have a slightly new look britishtennis.net homepage...to incompass the new interactive feature...poll of the week ! please post suggestions for future polls	Sheddie	5	896	Jan 16, 2008 by andyjmr
	Alternative methods............ (Preview) of letting someone know their fly is unzipped: The cucumber has left the salad. Robin has left the hood. I can see the gun of Navarone. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. You've got Windows on your laptop. Your soldier ain't so unknown anymore. Quasimodo needs to go b...	Sheddie	1	781	Dec 27, 2007 by Drew
	....and they say men dont listen (Preview) Mark, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him, "tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE." The next morning, Mark got up really e...	Sheddie	1	855	Dec 25, 2007 by Willis0910
	Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Merry Christmas and Happy new year guys ! Hope you all have a good one and drink/eat as much as you want ! Hopefully there'll be plenty more to cheer about in British tennis come 2008	Sheddie	18	2219	Dec 25, 2007 by Drew
	Winter wonderland - an alternative christmas carol....tribute to Ricky Hatton and his fans (Preview) Mayweather, are you listening? In the gym, sweat is glistening I'll eat you alive - and take you in five Walking in a Hatton Wonderland Cheerio to the pasties See ya beers, no more Astis I'll rip off yer 'ead - and put you to bed Walking in a Hatton Wonderland When I get home I'm gonna build a snowman Then pre...	Sheddie	0	882	Dec 24, 2007 by Sheddie
	Festive snowboarding game (Preview) The arcade was pretty popular last year, how about a festive challenge on this game: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/play/1092/ I got 723 1st run -- Edited by RobC at 13:06, 2007-12-23	Sheddie	6	841	Dec 23, 2007 by RobC
	Lawyer jokes (Preview) The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All...	Sheddie	0	788	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	The one in charge (Preview) All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I ci...	Sheddie	0	699	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	Bus Stop (Preview) One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzip...	Sheddie	0	751	Dec 18, 2007 by Sheddie
	My spellchecker (Preview) Dedicated to all those who think nobody needs to learn to spell in these days of spellcheckers: I have a spelling checker It came with my PC It plane lee marks for my revue Miss steaks aye can knot sea. Eye ran this pome rite threw it, Your sure reel glad two no. Its vary polished in its weigh -- My checker tol...	Madeline	1	881	Nov 21, 2007 by Count Zero
	Happy Birthday Madeline. (Preview) Hope you have a lovely day with lots of family and presents (possibly not in that order )	imoen	12	1291	Nov 12, 2007 by Madeline
	Married life - joke thread (Preview) A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out...	Sheddie	0	920	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	School reports (Preview) A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, I...	Sheddie	0	712	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	Disorder in the American courts (2) (Preview) ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________ ___________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ______________________________ ________ ATTORNEY: This myasthen...	Sheddie	0	788	Nov 12, 2007 by Sheddie
	Where is mkkreuk? (Preview) He has disappeared all of a sudden, it seems. -- Edited by Arka at 03:05, 2007-11-07	Salmon	2	975	Nov 7, 2007 by Sheddie
	The Summers over..... (Preview) Summer time is at an end....well BST is....clocks go back an hour folks just in case anyone forgot....you get an extra hour into the bargain !!!	Drew	3	868	Nov 2, 2007 by RobC
	Qantas (Preview) After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said...	Sheddie	2	925	Oct 22, 2007 by Drew
	How to greet an Englishman (Preview)	Sheddie	1	1171	Oct 20, 2007 by johnnylad
	Rugby world cup jokes (Preview) JASON ROBINSON, Andrew Sheridan and Jonny Wilkinson are standing before God at the throne of Heaven. God looks at them and says: "Before granting you a place at my side, I must first ask you what you believe in." Addressing Robinson first, he asks: "What do you believe?" Robins...	Sheddie	1	2684	Oct 20, 2007 by Sheddie
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