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Happy Birthday, Johnnylad.
(Preview)
I am late by eight minutes.
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Salmon
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7
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825
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Members Holidays...
(Preview)
Never been so busy at work so not been around much...always checking in though and reading bt.net. Well I am off on Sunday to the states for my summer hols with the family...I always seem to go away when Wimby is on ??? Our villa only has dial up net access but will be keeping in contact with all you lot. Plea...
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Drew
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1
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749
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"Hate filled venom"
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1 2
)
(Preview)
Thought we should have a thread to discuss the biggest assault on our human rights for many a year. I'm talking about the smoking ban of course. Please read the following article and think "what if the word smoker was replaced with another minority group" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/he...
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john
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16
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6084
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Another illustrious new member
(Preview)
We had David Felgate join the site last week.... and now Neil Harman, tennis correspondent of the Times has joined !!! He registered yesterday
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Sheddie
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1
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649
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Signature Appreciation Thread
(Preview)
Because I'm fed up of posting in random threads that I like people's signatures I thought I'd start this up. So let me begin with, Arka I love your new sig, what did Sheddie do to prompt such a declaration?
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imoen
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14
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1328
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30 things to do in an exam when you know you're going to fail it anyway
(Preview)
you never know, this may come in useful for some of us in the near future !! 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, y...
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Sheddie
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3
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886
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Happy 18th Mr Shed
(Preview)
Go forth and get hammered!
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john
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9
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757
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Actual answers in exam papers
(Preview)
Answers which students have actually written in GCSE exams.... GCSE Science: Q: How does a coil turn? A: By god's will Q: Write down a test for starch A: Go to www.google.com, lookup 'starch test', find a test, and then copy it HERE Philosophy essay final in High School: Q: Why? A: Why not? Once in a chemi...
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Sheddie
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5
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1304
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The tale of Martina and the Czech Shrek
(Preview)
There is a Count from Transylvania Who in girls sets off some kind of mania They fall at his feet Think him some kind of treat It's so very hard to explain t'yuh! At Wim-bee, acting up like a brat He went out to young Muzz, just like that At his press conference Andy sat on the fence But thought "That blo...
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Sheddie
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6
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1001
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Happy Birthday To Laura.
(Preview)
Have a great day, Laura. And hopefully you'll have a great year ahead.
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Salmon
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1
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793
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A cold reception in heaven
(Preview)
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day, it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having...
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Sheddie
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0
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655
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Only in America (2)
(Preview)
1. Only in America.......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America.......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America.......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healt...
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Sheddie
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1
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744
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Scottish hospital ward
(Preview)
An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. He is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first patient he sees, and the man proclaims: "Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!" The...
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Sheddie
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2
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780
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A letter from Tesco
(Preview)
A LETTER FROM TESCO Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of ou...
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Sheddie
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0
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677
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The year's best headlines of 2005
(Preview)
Hopefully no one has posted these before....I found them funny. THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005: Crack Found on Governor's Daughter[Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[Now that's taking things a bit...
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Montana Doug
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4
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752
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The activeboard world championships - space invaders
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1 2
)
(Preview)
I thought it'd be fun to have our own world championships for the arcade game "space invaders."
I'm looking for 64 participants, please sign up in this thread stating the country you wish to represent [GB will be split up into the home nations eg: Scotland, England, Wales, NI + Isle of Man, Jersey,...
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Sheddie
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22
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1584
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Letters to the editor
(Preview)
These are a collection of some of the funniest letters to be published in newspaper editorial sections...some are simply classic Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris Patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim cleric Abu Hamsa. Les Barnsley ------...
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Sheddie
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2
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865
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If Arka was in charge of the LTA
(Preview)
I expect very interesting developments would occur..... Here are some of my conjectures, will be interesting to see what the Panda himself thinks... (1) Nadal and Lopez would get a lifetime ban from competing in Britain  (2) The clay tourneys in May would be switched to grass and there woul...
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Sheddie
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9
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795
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Disorder in the American courts
(Preview)
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie...
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Sheddie
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1
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648
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Happy Birthday To James!
(
1 2 3
)
(Preview)
Enjoy your year, Count. 
What a present Alex gave you today. 
I have now taken an oath to remember all birthdays.
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Salmon
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32
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2689
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The final word on nutrition
(Preview)
After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart...
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Sheddie
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7
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895
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Alias
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1 2
)
(Preview)
just think it might be a nice idea if poeople who post under different names here to AM.com post here so we can have a list. some of use use the same some dont: Count Zero - Jac
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Count Zero
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19
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17728
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The 18th birthday prayer
(Preview)
Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the be...
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Sheddie
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3
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2337
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Marketing
(Preview)
The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is: 1. You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. 2. You're a...
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Sheddie
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0
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699
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Survival exercise
(Preview)
The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls... Firs...
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Sheddie
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0
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649
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